Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize