yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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