Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
