I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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