He told me they were just razor bumps!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
