If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
