Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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