I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
