i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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