I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
