If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
