You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize