Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
