You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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