goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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