i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
