I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize