That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
