Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
