Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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