Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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