Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
