Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
