So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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