Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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