Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
