Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
