I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
