Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
