alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
