Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
