I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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