You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize