her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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