no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
