Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
