You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
