3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
