oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize