I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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