I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize