And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
