well you can't waste a boner
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
