Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize