The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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