My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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