Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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