A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize