her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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