I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's shark week go big or go home
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
