i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
