dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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