he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
