we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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