D3 body, D1 cock
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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