Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
