Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Less talking, more tequila
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
