So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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