help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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