Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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