I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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