Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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