SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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