please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
