i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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